I Told You So!

In my last blog, I hinted at the fact that my parents played a role (in my opinion, a fairly significant one) in helping me stay away from drugs and driving me to lead what I find to be a mostly healthy lifestyle. Interestingly, right after I wrote that blog, I went on to read the last chapter of Freakonomics which discusses the role of parents in a child's education. In this section, Levitt uses statistical data to demonstrate the influence (or lack thereof) of parents on the academic education of their children. Not to my surprise, he concludes (and the data supports his hypothesis) that it is not what parents DO, but more of what they ARE, that affects the child. This must be quite annoying and shocking to most obsessive parents, but I'm so pleased with this finding. My dad always used to say: before you have kids, make sure you first train yourself to behave! I never really understood what this meant, until I got a bit older and discovered the beauty of this advice. I have now watched many children and I can admittedly, without a doubt, and with almost 100% accuracy, make an observation about the parents (even if I don't know them) simply by observing the children's behavior. Children really are a mirror and they mirror the parents' behaviors. So, no wonder Levitt says, it's what the parents are that affects the child's education...not what they do!

Many of you may question the relevance of this last paragraph to your own lives. Perhaps you don't have children; maybe you don't even plan on ever having a family; then, how would any of this apply to you? I don't have kids and don't plan on having them (although I don't have an aversion for them either!), but I was certainly affected by the scientific data above. What this suggests to me is that my behavior has the potential to affect the people around me: whether it affects my 1.5 year-old nephew or the 13 year-old I mentor, or the 25 year-old I work with, or my peers, or my 45 year-old boss, is irrelevant. The point is, my behavior--positive or negative--could potentially change the next person with whom I come into contact. How phenomenal would it be to leave a positive impression on my surroundings? How rewarding would it be?!

Feeling Lucky...

First of all, sorry for missing so many days. I've been very busy at work during the day and most of my nights have consisted of finishing up the work I did not get to do earlier and/or reading...several books!! I'm almost done with Freakonomics. A few days ago, I was reading the chapter on the economics of drug dealing. Putting aside Levitt's elegantly supported theory for why crack dealers live with their moms, I have been, for many days, pondering the very idea of drug dealing and drug users. I have been, to say the least, feeling extremely fortunate to have been completely away from the world of drugs. Some would call that naiive and "bubble-like". I call it fortunate and lucky! To be frank, I'm not even sure how I made it through my adulthood without ever coming across a situation that necessitated a decision to get involved with drugs. Was it really me?? Was I the strong one? But how was I "strong" if I was never put up to the test? Alternatively, was it my environment that saved me from this potentially dangerous phenomenon? If so, had I not had a say in selecting my surroundings? So, again, why not take all the credit for myself?

I will actually give you an answer today! I don't think I can give myself any of the credit on this one! I attribute my "drug-free" passage so far to several different factors: one of the most important factors is my parents. I have to admit, they did a darned good job of raising me and a part of that meant that they instilled the right principles in my mind: education, athletics, community service. In other words, they kept me too busy to ever think about anything outside of the box they provided for me.

Another critical factor was my group of friends. I don't care what anyone says, I firmly believe that your friends, especially in teenage years (but really, for all your life) shape your behaviors. I owe my positive crowd a big thank you.

And the most important and most unprecendented of all factors was my belief (stemming from my attraction towards spirituality) that every action has to have a reaction and the spiritual reaction of getting involved with drugs, for me, was a failure to control myself...sounded pathetic to me! So, I controlled myself!! But not because I was strong; rather because I had a belief that more or less forced me to think this way. Today, many many years since the teenage years, I have nothing but thanks to give :)

The Birth...

A friend of mine gave birth to a beautiful baby girl three days ago. While this is certainly not the first time I have been given news of a child delivery, I was taken into a deep state of thought with this birth. I started to wonder, out of all the children that were born at the very same moment that my friend's child (we'll call her K.) was born, why does this K. get to be in such a wealthy, healthy, educated, and happy family? Believe me, I am extremely happy for the parents and for K. I'm just wondering what the criteria are for birth within a specific family. Or is it all just random? But it can't really be random, because if it were, it would be utterly unfair, and I guess I just believe in some type of justice in this world. I guess this is an important question for me to address. I think a lot of people have the same types of questions, but most fail to pursue them. I, on the other hand, have thoroughly exhausted all my resources in an attempt to find an answer to these questions of justice and equality, and successfully, might I add! I have been finally convinced by one single answer, but what would be the point of writing a blog if I didn't allow my readers to ponder the same questions and come up with their own individual, custom-designed answers!?! I'll give it away sooner or later; but for now, just think!

Incentives for Moral Behavior

A friend recommended that I read the book, Freakonomics (Levitt and Dubner 2005). I began reading it last night and was intensely impressed with the authors' ideas (but not unifying themes!) and arguments. Most of all, I was intrigued by a particular study referenced in the book that suggests a negative synergy between moral behavior and economic values. I performed further research on the referenced experiment above and extracted the following information: In this study, a small fine (~$3/day/child) was imposed on six daycare centers in Israel that were struggling with late pickups by the parents of the children. Surprisingly, after the placement of this new regulation, late pickups increased, even by parents who did not have a previous history of late pickups. This data suggests that there is a negative correlation between moral behavior (courtesy and consideration for the teachers) and economic value (fee for a late pickup). It appears that once a fee was instituted, parents began to put a price tag on their inability to pick up their children (Gneezy et al. 2000). This concept fascinats me! Does this suggest that the incentive for moral behavior is indeed stronger and more convincing than economic motives? Or does this hypothesis only hold true so long as the economic value is less than the moral value? The latter concept seems rational: what else would explain the corruption and greed that surrounds those hungry for power and wealth? Clearly, there must be a group who is willing to break some moral rules in an effort to complete its own agenda, but how far would they be willing to go? What determines their "threshold" per se? And what about the rest of us common folk? Are we, in fact, more morally bound than we think we are? Is it possible that we are, perhaps unintentionally, behaving according to a specific set of moral standards?

It's rough out there...

Perhaps one of the best parts of my day is (or used to be) the early morning, when I would sit in front of my computer, coffee in one hand, and the mouse in the other, reading the news. But recently, I have grown to develop an aversion towards all news sites. I am becoming more and more saddened by the current events. The recession in the US (and the rest of the world), the war in the Middle East, the daily political scandals...they all just make me depressed. I keep wondering why there is so much suffering around the world? From natural disasters to man-made offenses, I find myself questioning the fate of our planet and all its creatures. What is going to happen to us? But more importantly, are all of our problems proportionate? If the administrative assistant in the US is worried about getting laid off from work tomorrow while the mother of 4 in the Middle East is worried about protecting her children, are those instances equally weighed? If not, then what and whom determines which is more or less important? And if they are not proportionate, wouldn't that suggest injustice in the universe? And what if you believe in an ordered organization in the world? What if you believe in some kind of justice? Can you reconcile the differences across our universe?

What is good behavior?

In my line of work, frustration is not only commonplace, but expected. Just as all other human beings, I can hardly tolerate failure, let alone embrace it. So, when things go wrong, I, similar to my colleagues, have a single immediate reaction: I cuss the world out!

Today, I was giving the notion of rude behavior some thought. If I'm cussing myself out, or if I "offend" my computer, my pens, my workstation, etc., is that really considered uncouth? I almost never address anyone in an aggressive/offensive manner (unless in a joke, of course). If I'm not cussing out any particular individual, is it "bad behavior"? Presently, the media is very free and open about cuss words...we hear it in movies, on TV, on the radio, and especially in the pop/new age music. Everyone around me is always cussing too, even my boss. It almost seems as if the current generation has developed a significant level of tolerance towards the notion of cussing...the words may perhaps be thought of as part of our daily language. BUT...does all this mean that the use of cuss words is acceptable behavior? Would I ever freely cuss at a large meeting?

What does it mean when you bite your tongue?!

Today, I was gossiping about an individual whom I find to be deficient in critical thinking- a quality I highly value. Just as I was done complaining about her most recent behavior, the satisfactory feeling that is often associated with "getting things off your chest" was suddenly overshadowed by the most painful episode of tongue biting I have ever experienced. "Was this a sign to stop," I thought to myself. On the other hand, I was already done discussing my friend's inadequacies. Was it karma? I do, more or less, believe in one form or another of the concept of karma. In reality, I think I believe in the idea of action and reaction. In the tangible material world that surrounds me, I find evidence for this theory on a daily basis, but the idea that my words could produce an easily detectable reaction such as the biting of the tongue seemed far-reaching...but then again, was it? Afterall, I was using my tongue to put into words, what started as a mere thought...and then I polluted the thoughts of my listener, who may now go on to spread my complaints to others. Was it really a coincidence that I bit the very tongue that could potentially be the cause for my personal feelings about a specific person being heard by others? If so, is that ethically wrong?

Why??

For many years, I have been blogging in the confines of my own head. Tonight, I want to welcome myself to blogging in cyberspace, where the intangible thought morphs into a series of sentences, perhaps put together in a highly unorganized fashion, but none the less transforms into a material being that can be read, critiqued, questioned, respected, and perhaps embraced. In writing this blog, I promise myself and any future readers who may find my thoughts interesting, that I will write with utmost honesty and sincerity, and without too much frontal lobe filtration! My goal here is to grow mentally, to progress, and learn. I have no doubt that in the the near future, when I look at my blogs in retrospect, I will be able to better connect my own thoughts and perhaps answer my own questions, regardless of how large or small the number of my readers will be.